i knew this month was going to be hard but every day that gets closer to the year mark that you were taken from me i remember what we went through last year, each day was a struggle & being reminded of the pain we all went through has made me shed a few tears everyday. i remember the night we found out you had cancer, i remember the first time hearing you had less than two weeks to be with us, i remember not knowing what to say to you and i regret everything i didn’t say, i remember trying to help you but feeling so helpless because there was nothing i could do to make you feel better, i remember you asking me if there was anything you could do for me but all i could do was cry, i remember the last turkey dinner you wanted to have with the family because you knew you wouldn’t be around for thanksgiving, i remember when you wanted to go to the beach with the family one last time so we all packed up and went the next day and on the day we got home you went into coma and i never got to say goodbye, i remember asking you what you would want my future children s names to be but you weren’t able to answer back, i remember just waiting for you to pass, watching you suffer for days, i never seen someone suffer as much as you did, i never seen or knew how absolutely disgusting cancer was until it took over you. cancer is something that never leaves your mind after you lose someone to it. no one realizes what people really go through. the nightmares that still wont go away until this day. if you know anyone suffering from cancer try to help them and their family out in any little way because support is the most important thing and it’s what got me through it.